


Finding My Way Back To You

by joely_jo



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Absence, Episode: s06e10 Pathfinder, Established Relationship, F/M, Love, Movie: Star Trek: Insurrection (1998), Reunion Sex, Reunions, Romance, considering the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:40:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28450305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joely_jo/pseuds/joely_jo
Summary: Set around the Voyager episode Pathfinder, where Deanna takes a leave of absence from the Enterprise to help Reg Barclay and his mental state.Deanna frowned at him. “Are your feet getting cold, Will?”“No! No… of course not…” He pulled back slightly. “It’s just… it’s just it’s a long time and I will miss you.”
Relationships: William Riker/Deanna Troi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	Finding My Way Back To You

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set after Deanna returns from her leave of absence depicted in the Voyager episode Pathfinder. I have used the Wikipedia timeline for the Trek universe that says the events of Pathfinder take place after Insurrection but before the A Time To… novels, and therefore obviously before Nemesis. I imagine Will and Deanna have been back dating properly for about a year at this point and that she’s been away for about a month.

“You’re doing _what_?”

Will knew his voice sounded harsh and the minute the words had blurted out of his mouth, he regretted them. It was none of his business what Deanna chose to do. But a _leave of absence_?

“Will, I’m not changing my mind on this, I’m afraid.”

“But—”

She came to him and took his hands in hers, stopping his objections in their path. “Reg is my friend and I care about him. He’s having a hard time, showing lots of the symptoms and behaviours he showed before when he was at his lowest and I feel like I could help him get through that.”

“The Enterprise won’t be back in Earth orbit for another seven weeks.” He didn’t add that Reg Barclay had been gone from the Enterprise for nearly three years now and though he knew Deanna had kept in touch with him and considered him to be more of a friend than a patient, it was on the tip of his tongue to selfishly ask why Barclay was more important than he was. They’d been back together now for a year and had been sharing quarters for a good deal of that time and everything had been going so _well_. And now she was going to take a leave of absence.

“Besides, I didn’t say anything about how long I was intending to be away,” she explained. “And there are other means of rendezvousing with the Enterprise. I could catch a shuttle or hitch a lift with another starship. Transports leave Earth every day and starships visit several times a week.”

Will swallowed and sighed. He knew he was being a little irrational about it all, but the thought of being without her for all that time was bothering him. He was going to really miss her.

“I’m going to miss you too, Imzadi,” she murmured, sensing his thoughts, and pulled him into an embrace. “But this will be good for us. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Isn’t that the old phrase?”

“Absence makes the feet grow cold too,” he chuffed gloomily. He knew he sounded like a spoilt brat, but right now, he didn’t really care. The thought of coming home to sleep in bed alone and eat on his own was a chilling one. He’d gotten too damn comfortable with her constant presence in his life these last few months.

During that time, they’d not been on any missions that had taken either of them off ship. Instead, the Enterprise had enjoyed a quiet spell of exploratory and humanitarian missions which had enabled them to relax into their rekindled relationship. This sudden and unexpected announcement that she was taking a leave of absence felt rather like someone had just smacked him with a sharp right hook and in the dazed aftermath, he was abruptly realising how important she’d become to him.

Deanna frowned at him. “Are your feet getting cold, Will?”

“No! No… of course not…” He pulled back slightly. “It’s just… it’s just it’s a long time and I will miss you.”

“We can talk every day. If I’m going to be on Earth, the communications will be first class, and I’ll have nothing much to do apart from check in on Reg, so I could take a subspace whenever you’re free.” She smiled at him, looking hopeful. “And then when I get back, we can make some plans for some shore leave together. I don’t know about you, but I have plenty saved up.”

A smile spread on his face. “Hmmm… We haven’t been away together in a long time.”

“There you go, we have something to look forward to. Both of us.” She leaned up and kissed him and he let himself fall into it.

“When will you leave?” he asked as they separated.

“You’re scheduled to depart tomorrow at 0700, so I’ll probably pack up tonight and leave when I’m done.”

“Tonight?” He couldn’t help the disappointment he felt at not being able to spend one more night together.

“Yes, I don’t want to be clogging up the transporter when you’re getting ready to leave.” She picked up on the sudden wave of sadness that had washed through him, and quickly added, “I’ll have time for dinner before I go though, so I hope you’re planning something good.”

He grinned and nodded, appeased somewhat. The gentle smile on her face was enchanting. “Deanna, I love you. You know that, don’t you?”

“I know it, Will.” Reaching up, she cupped his bearded cheek in her hand. “Imzadi.”

“Imzadi,” he returned. “Don’t go getting cold feet while you’re off making Mr. Broccoli better, will you?”

“Not possible.”

And she leaned up and kissed him.

***

And that was four and a half weeks ago. In that time, they’d shared exactly thirty six subspace messages, one each day and then a couple when once hadn’t been quite enough – he’d kept count, if only because it had helped him gauge how long she’d been away. The Enterprise had been away to an environmental disaster on Gorkani Prime, then back to Starbase 34 for a conference, then had mediated a disruption of the ceasefire agreements on Inglis III. It had kept Will busy, but not so busy that he hadn’t missed her.

Deanna, meanwhile, had clearly had a lot of free time on her hands, some of which she’d used to help Barclay with his efforts to contact the Voyager crew. Just over a week ago, she’d called him to tell him that Barclay had succeeded and contact had been made with Voyager. She’d been absolutely buzzing, her mood better than he’d known it in months, so good that things had ended up getting rather hot between them. It hadn’t been the first time Will had had sex over subspace, but it had definitely been the best. 

Yesterday morning, though, he’d received a simple communique from her to say that she’d caught a transport off Earth and was bound for the Enterprise’s next stop at Vulcan. Which meant she’d be boarding the ship sometime today.

He dressed for duty feeling absolutely buoyant and arrived on the Bridge to find the Captain already there, studying a star chart with Data at conn. “Good morning, Number One,” said Picard. “I hear we will be rendezvousing with Counsellor Troi at Vulcan later today. You must be pleased she is returning ahead of schedule?”

Will couldn’t help the smile that flashed onto his face. “Yes sir, it’s been a long time without her.”

“Well, she sounds in good spirits. The news about Voyager is excellent too – I’m pleased she could assist Mr. Barclay in his efforts.”

“From what she says, Reg was the toast of Command.”

Picard nodded and smiled. “I’m sure he was. I have to admit that when he applied for a transfer after the Borg incident, I had my doubts. He’d taken so long to settle in here on the Enterprise.”

“When you got past all the neuroses, Barclay was a really good engineer.”

“Indeed.”

“Anything else to report?” asked Will. Picard went to the command chair and sat down, turned to his console and flicked through a few pages of text.

“Astrometrics are taking the main sensor grid offline when we reach Vulcan in order to test some new programming they’ve developed and Lieutenant Vale is planning a few security drills. As you know, Mr La Forge and Mr Data will be staying on Vulcan during the symposium, so while we are in orbit awaiting their return, I plan to use some of the time to do a little personal research at the Academy of Science, which will leave you in command.” 

“Acknowledged,” said Will, trying hard not to show his disappointment. He’d been hoping to ask Picard to swap his duty shifts around so that he and Deanna would have a chance to share a little time together, but if he was going to be in command, that wouldn’t be possible. “And after Vulcan?”

“We’re taking some Vulcan delegates to a conference at Starbase 13, then a series of routine mapping and scientific missions.”

“It’s been so quiet recently,” Will observed.

“And you’re complaining? I seem to remember everyone commenting in the run up to the Briar Patch that they were tired of diplomacy and that it would be nice to get back to exploration.”

“You always want what you haven’t got, Captain.”

Picard gave a wry smile. “Never a truer word, Number One. And now I must go. I have a breakfast appointment with Doctor Crusher and if I’m late again, she will be after me.”

Will grinned as the captain got to his feet. “And we wouldn’t want that.”

***

By lunchtime, though, Will’s good mood had evaporated. While the Enterprise was making good time and would be arriving at Vulcan right on schedule, Deanna’s transport was delayed. At first report, it was just a couple of hours, then as the morning wore on, her ETA slipped further and further away, until by 1300 hours it was scheduled to be some time in the middle of the night.

“Data, what are they saying the problem is now?” asked Will, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice, as he stalked towards Ops and peered over the android’s shoulder.

“The transport is now experiencing a complete failure of their warp drive, Commander. The captain is reporting that they are awaiting assistance from the SCE.”

“Still?”

“Yes sir.”

“And the nearest vessel to their coordinates is…?”

“The _Bazelgette_ is responding. They are four hours and thirty-two minutes away.”

Will sighed. “But the ship is not in any real difficulty?”

“Apart from being limited to impulse power only, no sir,” replied Data.

“But we are still on schedule for Vulcan?”

“We should arrive in orbit in three hours and forty-nine minutes.”

“Can we lend them any assistance?”

“We would not beat the _Bazelgette_. And any kind of divergence from our own heading would result in the Enterprise arriving late for the symposium.”

And that, of course, would not do. Geordi was delivering the keynote address and had been preparing for months. Nodding with quiet resignation, Will walked back to the command chair and sank down into it. He would just have to be patient.

***

Vulcan spun slowly below them, its red atmosphere clouded with dust from the seasonal sandstorms. With La Forge and Data gone, the bridge crew were a bunch of younger officers, all of whom he knew enough to be friendly with, but none of whom did anything more than regard him with tongue-tied awe whenever he tried to engage them in a conversation that wasn’t ship-related. It made for a dull shift and by the time he could punch the clock and go off duty, Will was distracted and frustrated. He’d checked in as many times as he could justify with the captain of the transport ship, but they were still some way away from being up and running again and it was starting to sound increasingly as if his planned reunion with Deanna was going to be delayed until tomorrow.

He went to the gym and burned some energy on the rowing machine, then took himself to the mess hall, ordered dinner and sat alone eating it, part of him wishing someone would join him and the other part of him glad when nobody did. He wasn’t particularly in the mood for idle chit chat. Eventually, he went back to their quarters. He did a little work on the crew rosters for next month, checked over the reports from Astrometrics about the new sensor improvements they were trialling, then sat down to record his logs with a glass of Scotch.

But try as he might, he couldn’t keep his mind on what he was supposed to be doing. Over and over, his thoughts kept drifting to Deanna. He’d missed her terribly. It sounded so cloying and trite that his life had been empty without her, but it really had. How had he spent so many years just being friends with her when her absence was this palpable? What did it mean for the future?

As his mind kept wandering, he remembered the promise Deanna had made when she’d left – that they’d use some of their shore leave and take a break together somewhere. Perhaps that was something that would keep him focused, he realised. He could book their holiday, arrange their time off, plan their transport and have everything ready to surprise her with when she finally made it home. Filled with a renewed sense of purpose, he finished his log entry and then picked up a PADD and began to look at possible locations.

***

“Energise.”

The utilitarian grey of the transport ship faded out and was replaced by the familiar clean lines of the Enterprise’s transporter room three. Lieutenant Yaslin Amlani greeted Deanna with a wide smile. “Counsellor, welcome back.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant. It’s good to be back.” She glanced around at the low light of the transporter room that indicated that it was ship’s night. “And thank you for beaming me back in the middle of the night.”

“Not a problem. I was only beaming up some supplies to the cargo bays.”

“Still, thank you. Can you have my baggage beamed directly to my quarters? No rush, though. I don’t need any of it until the morning.”

“Of course, Counsellor. I’ll sort it before I hand over at the end of my shift.”

The corridors of the Enterprise were quiet and as she made her way towards a turbolift, she passed not a soul. Reaching out with her empathy, she sampled the familiar and comforting tenor of the thoughts of the crew. It was good to be home, she thought. She could easily have stayed aboard the transport ship until the morning, but the temptation of being able to come home sooner had been too great. It had been satisfying to help Reg recover himself, but she’d missed her job, the ship, the crew and, most of all, she’d missed Will.

As the turbolift sped to Deck Six, where their quarters were located, she imagined sliding into bed beside him, waking him from sleep with kisses and soft caresses. How thrilled he would be to see her, having no doubt given up hope that she was going to arrive any time soon! She pondered how they had come to this, having been friends for so many years. Separations through duty and necessity were part of a life in Starfleet and they’d accepted that their whole careers, yet somehow these last few months, those separations had become harder to take and even harder to endure.

Inside their quarters, everything was dark, save the pale blue glow coming from the replicator and the place bore the look of somewhere that had been inhabited by William Riker and no-one else for at least a month. She smiled at the low grade mess – some things never changed and no matter what, Will would always be just a little untidy, especially when left to his own devices with nobody to clean up after him.

The bedroom door was open; doubtless he felt no need to close it when there was nobody to complain about cold draughts. From within, she could hear a soft sound of snoring. Weaving her way across the living area, she slipped into the bedroom. Will was on the bed, sitting up against a pile of pillows, assorted PADDs scattered around him. His head was lolling slightly back, hence the snoring, and he was dressed in those baggy blue pyjamas she both liked and loathed. One long leg was sticking out from beneath the blankets and as she stood and stared a moment, her stomach flipped in anticipation. 

She stepped toward the bed and bent to pick up the PADDs, setting them quietly and carefully in a pile on the floor, then stood over him and studied the familiar lines of his beloved face. These weeks had alternately flown by and dragged and she had missed him with a fierceness that had surprised her. They’d talked each day but subspace had been no substitute for his presence, his touch and the comforting embrace of his mind. Looking at him now reminded her of all the reasons why there could never be anyone who would affect her like he did and how much she needed to feel him with her once again. 

Slowly, she leaned down and traced her mouth along the smooth arc of his cheekbone to his lips, then kissed him with the gentlest of touches.

With a small jolt, he woke. She withdrew a little and their eyes met. “Imzadi, I’m home…” she breathed and smiled. 

Will’s eyes were heavy and hooded with sleep, but still he smiled as his hand came up to touch the side of her face, as if testing whether she was truly there in front of him. “Deanna.”

“Will.”

At that, he reached up for her face, enclosing it with the shell of his large hands. His thumbs skidded over her cheeks and he sat up and pulled her close so he could kiss her again, this time more awake and with a deeper, rousing need.

Long moments passed as they kissed and kissed and Deanna felt the joy at being back with him surge through her, and in its wake, desire ignite. In an impatient rush, she reached out with her mind for him. He opened up immediately, letting her in like a wave across untouched sand.

_Imzadi, I’ve missed you._

_Mmm. I’ve missed you too. So much._

As their thoughts mingled, Will released a sigh of pure relief and pushed her down onto the bed, sliding his body alongside her, never letting his mouth leave hers.

Words were not needed as they took off clothes and tangled themselves together. Will slid down her body, trailing kisses as he travelled the plain of her belly and settled himself in the valley of her thighs. He nosed at her centre, pushing her folds apart and taking a deep breath of the accent of her arousal. Desperate for his touch, she undulated her spine and pushed herself toward his mouth.

She felt Will’s grin in her head. His delight at seeing her need for him was a bright flash of colour and heat, enticing her further. How had she passed so many weeks without this? It was a mystery. His tongue caressed her clit, circling, circling, and she reached down with her hands to card her fingers through his hair, mewling distracted urgings as he licked and tasted. She could hear her own small sounds of growing pleasure but they seemed a distance away, so focused was she on the seeking.

His fingers took the place of his mouth then, slipping inside her. For a moment, he paused, letting her adjust.

_Imzadi. Don’t stop… don’t…_

Will hummed against the skin of her belly, the vibration running through her, then opened her up with his mouth again, taking up a more considered study of his task. His rhythm was slow but steady and soon, she felt the stirrings of orgasm rising in her. She whimpered aloud with pleasure and he paused, looking up and grinning at the flush in her face. 

“Deanna, God, you’re delicious. I thought about this while you were gone so much.”

She sighed and arched her back, pushed herself towards him, desperate for him to continue.

“You want more?” he asked.

_Yes… please…_

He was never one to deny her and at the sound of her thoughts in his head, he smiled and dropped his head again to trace a hard circle around her clit with his tongue. A few strokes later and she cried out, her body going taut as she shuddered through an orgasm that felt like it was breaking her apart.

Slowly, her fingers released their hold on his hair and swept over the sheets, limp and heavy-limbed like a rag doll. Will crawled up the bed and pulled her into his arms.

For a long while, they were quiet. “It’s cold in here,” she murmured.

Will’s chest rumbled with laughter. “I thought you promised not to get cold feet while you were gone?”

She rose up and looked at him, then ran her bare foot along his calf. “No, I had to wait until I got back to get those.”

“You’ve not been here, so I turned the environmental controls down.” She pushed closer to him, seeking his heat. “Computer,” he called out. “Raise room temperature by two degrees.”

“Mmm, thank you.”

His response was a soft kiss to the crown of her head. “And no, Will… I thought about you every day, all the time really. Even when I was working with Reg, I would think about you and what you were doing, wonder where you were and if you were thinking of me.”

Will smiled. “That’s good to know. Because I thought about you too. In fact, the captain caught me day dreaming on the Bridge a few times. Fortunately, he was sympathetic.” His hand began to smooth its way along her back. “He’s down on the planet now, along with Data and La Forge. I’m in command.”

“Oh,” she said, disappointed, as the realisation dawned that the world hadn’t completely narrowed to their little bubble. “So you’re on duty in the morning?”

“In about three hours, yes.”

“You’d better get some rest then.”

“It would be wise, I guess,” he murmured, kissing her neck. “But I’ve not spent four and a half weeks away from you to not make love to you the first chance I get.” His wide smile made her skin tingle. “Duty be damned, Deanna Troi. I’ll hide out in the ready room and catch a nap if it means I get to sink inside you and make you come again.”

Deanna sighed as his words turned her stomach upside down. He rolled on top of her, enveloping her with his body. Leaning on his elbows, he brought his hands up to her face, pushing her hair back. His eyes were dark and intent. “You’re so beautiful, Deanna. I’ve missed your face.”

“Just my face?” she asked, coyly, as she wrapped her arms around him.

“Hmm… let’s see… Your face…” He kissed her cheek, then trailed his lips down to her mouth. “Your mouth… your neck… your—”

“Shut up, Will, you’re talking too much. Come here.”

She tugged him upwards and with a slow shift, he pushed inside her. Deanna arched her back at the feel of him, at the tightness born of weeks of absence. He sensed her momentary hesitancy and held still. “That feel good?” he asked.

“Mmm, really good.”

Soft, oozing kisses occupied them for a few breaths before Will started to move. Deanna shifted her legs up, drawing him in deeper. She clutched at the muscles of his back and reached out with her mind to feel the pleasure slow-burning in his head.

_Feels even better now though._

Will smiled at her and allowed her to soak fully into his consciousness. Soon, they were in their most practised rhythm and the coalescence of their minds began to multiply the physical sensations for both of them. Deanna felt her body gathering towards climax again. Will’s eyes were closed and she called to him to open them, to look at her so she could see the moment when he came.

_Imzadi…_

His voice was a murmur in her head, but his eyes fixed on her. “Are you close?” She nodded. “Then touch yourself. Let’s try and get there together.”

Deanna slid her hand down between their bodies and began to rub against her clit, feeling the contrast of her own slick softness and the hardness of his cock inside her. Will’s thrusts soon lost their coherence and she felt his climax explode in her head as if it were her own. “Oh Gods!” she cried out. The burst of his pleasure was all that was needed and she followed him over the edge, gripping his back like he was her anchor.

***

The hard plane of his chest seemed made to fit her face. Deanna listened absently to the steadying thump of his heartbeat and the slow regulation of both of their breathing. Will’s arm was wrapped around her, keeping her close. She was safe. And home.

“That was—”

“Wonderful,” she supplied as words failed him.

He kissed her head. With a finger, he painted the infinity sign on the gentle curve of her belly. Moments passed as they held each other, their minds as intertwined as their bodies. Deanna could tell that sleep was clawing at him; the post-orgasmic fade into catatonia had always been hard to avoid for him. She had thought he’d drifted off when he spoke up: “Deanna, I took you at your word while you were gone. I’ve booked us a holiday. A little stilted cabin on Bermuda. I thought we could spend a week there on the beach and then go back to Angel Falls. What do you think?”

She leaned up and looked down at him, smiling broadly. “Will, that sounds perfect. Thank you.” She pressed a kiss to his lips. “Thank you.”

He nodded and studied her closely. She could sense him thinking suddenly about the past, about Risa and the missed vacation that had spelled the end of them all those years ago. “I promise I’ll make it this time.”

“Even if you get promoted to captain?” she teased.

He laughed. “I don’t think that’s going to be happening any time soon, Deanna. You can relax.” He breathed out, sobering. “And, anyway, even if it did, I wouldn’t let that change anything for us. Not this time.”

She opened her mouth to say something, but the earnestness of his words took her by surprise, making her pause. “Will…”

“I mean it, Deanna,” he said, sitting up and facing her. “I spent most of these last four weeks wishing you were back here. I wanted to see you every day. I don’t want to feel like that again.”

“Nor I, Imzadi.”

He smiled at her, kissed her, then pulled her down to lie with him once again, tugging the blankets up around them. “Good,” he said. She curled into his body and sighed. There was something she could sense buried in his thoughts, shielded from her with the skills she’d taught him over the years, something he was trying very hard to keep away from her. But as she circled around it, she knew instinctively that there was nothing concerning about it and though her curiosity was piqued, she had spent enough time amongst humans to know that they wished sometimes to keep some things private. So she turned away from it and, as he sank into sleep, it slowly faded like memory. 

**Author's Note:**

> Always here for feedback! 2020 may have been a shit year, but at least I've been able to write some things to help me deal with it all. Here's to 2021 being better - although it's not looking great in the UK right now...


End file.
